Pat McManus on “Sequences”

Pat McManus has written the funny stories at the back of Outdoor Life magazine for years.  One of my favorites is called “Sequences”.  In it, he analyzes the chain of events that have to take place for some things to happen.  This he labeled “sequences”.  

He grew up on a farm and understands that you never just go out and do the work you intended.  Ha!  First you determine the lengthy sequence of events that must take place just to begin the work, then once you realize the preparatory activites will take so long you will never even get to the job … so you go fishing instead.

He tells a story about his stepdad who always fell prey to the sequences hiding behind every tackle box and guilty pleasure.  As they were loading the gear to go fishing, he noticed the fence in the pasture was down.  A 20 minute job, he thought.  Twenty minutes and they could go fishing.  A simple fix.

But he first needed to go over to the Haversteaders and borrow their wire stretcher.  But before he could do that he had to go the the Malloys and get his post hold digger that they borrowed, and it was on the way to the Haversteaders.  Just then, he realized he was out of fence staples, so after he went to the Malloys to get the post hole digger, he would then go to Jergen’s hardware store for staples, and then go on to the Haversteaders to borrow their wire stretcher. 

But just as he was about to head to the Malloys, he remembered that he promised Sam Jergens (at the hardware store) he’d haul him a load of hay bales the next time he came into town.  To do that, he’d have to take the truck … which meant he’d first have to go over to LaRoy’s and get the leaky tire that he had taken last week to Laroy to fix. The story just dwindles into an afternoon of … well … sequences.

I, too, have had this pleasure of being acquainted with sequences.  And I, too, keep coming to the same conclusion … just go fishing. Unless Ellen is somehow involved in the string of sequences.